Do you ever wonder whether your job is just…wrong? Not inherently wrong; just wrong for you. Maybe it would be the right job if you were younger…or older. Maybe you feel like it should be the right job, but it just isn’t.
How do you know for sure that it’s really not the right job for you? If it’s not the right job for you, what are you going to do about it? Well, based on my own personal experience, it went kind of like this. Maybe it’s the same for you.
I Hate My Job
I do. I shouldn’t, but I do. It pays well. Actually, it pays very well. The work is easy, at least for me. I’m a lawyer. I work in a large and well-respected corporate law firm in an impressive skyscraper in downtown Chicago. I can walk to work. The view from my smallish but well-appointed office overlooks the Chicago River. The view is stunning. I’m a fast-tracker; I make a lot of money for the firm, and I may make partner before I’m 35. I earn a ridiculously high salary, and I’m very good at what I do. It doesn’t matter. I still hate my job.
I Don’t Like The Work
It sounds crazy, right? I’m a top performer, I make things happen, and I get things done. I have a brilliant legal mind. The only problem is that I am bored silly every day. Practicing law feels like I’m playing a video game that I always win. There’s no challenge, no excitement, and no fun. I daydream about running away. Where? I don’t care. Anywhere but here would be fine.
I Don’t Care About The Money
This boggles my sharp and finely-tuned analytical mind. My annual income is well into six figures. Seven figures are in my future if I don’t die first. Why would I die? Because it would be interesting. Please, don’t think of me as morose, depressed, or ungrateful. I know that I have been kissed by the angel of good fortune. Everyone says so, therefore it must be true. Right?
I Don’t Know Why I’m A Lawyer
That’s not true. I became a lawyer because my dad is a lawyer, a very good lawyer, and it was just sort of expected that I would become a lawyer too. I never gave it much thought. School was easy for me. Law school was a breeze. I guess I’m really smart. Everyone says I’m smart and that I have a brilliant legal mind. Whatever. To me, practicing corporate law is about as interesting as washing dishes. I guess I thought it would be stimulating. It’s not. I fantasize about leaving the firm, opening a little shack of an office in one of Chicago’s poor but culturally-rich enclaves and fighting the good fight for people who are casualties of the system.
I Resent My Life
This is not good. If I don’t like my life, I should change it. I could easily change it. I have enough money to do anything I want to do. I’ve already earned enough money to last for the rest of my life. Of course, that would probably mean living off the grid in a log cabin I would build by myself on a decent-sized plot of land, growing my own GMO-free vegetables, raising free-range chickens, and maybe even becoming a pig farmer. Pigs are smart in a way that I understand. I don’t know. I just want to be free. I want to find out who I am because as long as I stay where I am, I won’t know who I can be.
I Resent Myself
Yes, I resent myself. Why? Because I’m afraid to follow my heart. I don’t fear failure. I’m afraid of what my father will say. I’m afraid of what my colleagues will think. I already know what they’ll think: They’ll think I’m crazy. I must be crazy. Why else would I leave the lofty towers of high-powered legalese to pursue the fine and filthy art of pig farming? My friends will abandon me. They will not come to my cabin, and they won’t be tempted by a fresh, organic home-cooked meal of collard greens I grew myself and fresh ham hocks. They will not be excited about a game of horseshoes out in the back before dinner and a bit of horseback-riding on one of the many nearby trails as the sun sets.
I have a decision to make. Maybe you do too. I can follow my dreams and feed my soul, or I can follow tradition and break my own heart.
Matthew Snider is a writer, a personal development junkie, and a regular blogger at Self Development Secrets. Matt, with his one quarter Asian descent, did not start out as a writer, but he says, “the love for a subject is the most important aspect of writing. The readers want to read something written by someone who understands them.”